Thursday, September 25, 2008
They are the most important people in my life(:
you dare to take them away?
i'll give you hell!
my life?theres always ups & downs.
i guess everyone who live in this world does.
who dont right?freaks.
im sick & tired of my life but there is always people
that is close to my heart who makes me really looking forward for
the next day that comes.
but some , they are just making my life a sickening one that
makes me hate to live longer & wanting to cut my life shorter.
what am i suppose to do? my mood? it always come & go.i notice that ive change.
i've become less patience to everything & everyone arnd me.
always scolding people & i know that i have my inner 'EGO' inside me.
why is that so?i've been asking myself this question for a couple of time.
telling you something
now, my own mum doesnt want to talk to me.
its been a few days ever since both of us talked.im like
an invisible child to her.making me wanting to cry but i just hold on to my tears.
i cant possibly cry infront of her.
talking & laughing with my other sibling except for me is worst.
im feeling un-wanted by her.
asking,what do you guys feels when you own mother, the one who bring
you to this world treats you like how my mum treated me?
people dont understands even my close friends dont.
im hurt deep inside & my heart is torn into two.
i've been sitting in my room doing nothing.
i cry when i couldnt take it but nobody knew.
a silent cry.
when you looked at me in school , it is as if im living my life
as a cheerful girl but you doesnt know the cut on my heart which is soo deep.
i've been acting for all this while.
the smiles , the laughter , the jokes & everything.
i thought that i could handle the pain myself but now,
i just realise that i dont.
i need someone who i can share my problmes with.
i need someone who understand how im feeling.
i need someone who will always be by my side & help my struggle out
of my problems.
i need someone who can make me wanting to be alive.
i need that someone.but theres no one in my life who could do that.
my boyfriend?my bestest friends?
they dont understand.
i fought with boyf.
i just want you to understand babes & dudes.
but you dont.help me will you.
be with me through my ups & downs.
holding me tight & help me not to cry.im hurt.i really am.
but for now,i need my alone time.
i need time to think.
i want to have a piece of mind now.
to muhammad fareezad:
i hope what yor telling me is the truth.
you dont have to lie or whatsoever.
you can do whatever things you want now.
nobody & not even me is stopping you from doing what you want.
but i still doo love you.
im tired.
goodnight.sweetdreams.
tkcrs.
Labels: whats next?
Deela's Ending || Thursday, September 25, 2008
